Life in the fat lane …
I’m in the final countdown stages to turning 40. Two years ago I had such grand ideas of where I’d be. Grandest of all would be that I’d be under 200 lbs. and close enough to my goal to see the light.I don’t think I’m going to lose almost 80 lbs. by Sunday, nor do I want to. Part of me wants to berate myself for wasting the last couple years. The other part of me knows that it’s pointless. Would have, should have, could have … the time has passed and I truly proved to myself that a year from now is a year from now, no matter what you do between now and then.
So really, at this point I have to look at where I want to go, not where I’ve been or for that matter, where I’m at. I do feel like the greater part of this year has been consumed by my thyroid. I’m glad I was finally diagnosed (Hashimoto’s thyroiditis) and under the care of an endocrinologist. Getting the right dosage of synthroid is the worst. It’s slower that a turtle, but you can’t go too fast or you have cardiac arrest as a possible side affect.
The biggest down part of getting to feeling better is the frustration in not feeling good. I’ve been so tired I cry. Same as a toddler who needs a nap. Plus I just haven’t given a darn about anything. ANYTHING. Work, personal life, journaling, living …
I started a new dose last week and I have to say I feel “normal” which is a massive improvement. Hopefully the next few weeks will see the return of my energy. I may be starting my 40s on the fat side, but that doesn’t mean I’ll spend all the decade that way.
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I hope you continue to feel “normal”. I have a thyroid problem too and sometimes I think it’s the reason why I can feel so tired at times and cranky. Maybe turning 40 can be a new begining for you. I’m hoping to bring in my 40’s thinner but geeze, anything can happen. grrr.